hello! no more of ben's blog isnt that good woohooo!
poly's fun, busy, travellings a bitch, girls are not my type (they are all so urgh) and most of all im a sucker! see you on the flip side
bitching this by benjiwenji at 6:38 PM [comment]
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"All Hail The Heartbreaker"
I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes To a whole new world that had since been in disguise
But that day will most likely never come for me And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck To everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures And overanalyze your words But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard It's taking everything in me Just to forget your sweater so far
I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world But your undecisive mind shows me that You are "just another girl" I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams Maybe then you'd know how I feel
But that day will most likely never come for me And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck To everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures And overanalyze your words But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard It's taking everything in me Just to forget your sweater so far
I can honestly say That I never, ever, ever felt this way Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin These are the parts of your body That cause my comatose to begin
I will sleep another day I don't really need to anyway What's the point when my dreams are infected With words you used to say I will breathe in a moment As long as I keep my distance I wouldn't want to go messing anything up
So don't go worrying about me It's not like I think about you constantly So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect Your life anymore I knew it the moment you walked into the door
So don't go worrying about me It's not like I think about you constantly So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect Your life anymore I knew it the moment you walked into the door
I'll let you get the best of me Because there's nothing else that I do well I'll let you get the best of me Because there's nothing else that I do well I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker You've got me down on my knees and I proclaimAll hail the heartbreaker
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:17 PM [comment]
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Ryan Lim who was from ACS I ure gonna get it man, stalker!
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:42 PM [comment]
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i got my pearl master studio snare already! woohoo 520 dollars. pwah! but yea damn nice, limited edition, remo abassador skinhead. the sound is great lil high pitch and the volume can blow my socks off!
i gotta start saving up already, no more movies/shopping/supper at mee sek anymore now's just World Of warcraft and gym. would save me a lot of cash for rainy days and a nice CHINA cymbal.
can someone buy me a labrador? rocky from SPCA. labradors are smart dogs and good guide dogs i love em, unlike eunice's husky a retard haha
haha somehow something is still missing, the empty gap is still there for you to fill.
i dont think i can get a job, cos i might be busy. how???
i cant wait for school to start, yes that means no more holidays but hey least im spending my time wisely right? ywa i wanna wear my school uniform to poly woohoo or have a shirt that has my name! wa i can't wait haha. or ya and getting lost. let's get lost = damn nice jazz song! woohooo haha ok thats a bit too out of the point.
why do people have so much pride in them? pride creates a psychological barrier between one another, taking one another for granted is also one thing. life's too short to take people for granted. a friend can just come and go like that. and you would only miss the individual when he/she is no longer there, and especially if that individual is someon close to you, and treats you very nicely.
alamak forgot what to type. shit shit shit. da bian da bian da bian. oh yes, some people have told me to get better people in the band, ok im not saying any further who said this or to whom but i feel they are all wrong. i feel the essence of the whole band thing is all bonded by friendship at least i know my band is, and i love my band that very way. we hardly take it seriously only when the day to perform draws nearer if not we are just habing what i feel everyband should do fun. it also doesnt matter if we have a lousy musician in the band, no one is born good (ok maybe some) and everyone learns to become better in what they do. ( he who fails , learn something new) and yes from failures and setbacks we become wiser, stronger just like break-ups. and even if they say the there is "not so good" musician then i should be the one to Go because i seriously cannot drum for nuts and pistacchios hahahah. but yea, i love the way my band is and we will grow to become a better band!
i saw my friend from svdp who was in NYPF, damn he got 16pts and he wants to go ACJC, haha he must be going there just for the chicks man. mark chia, janna i respect you. salute! haha
note to self, i miss you terribly
oh why so down? just put your hope in God.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 2:03 AM [comment]
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you can be surprised to know how some friends actually remeber your full name! how was CIP friend? bet 3/5 fell asleep huh? hahaha paedophiles! anyways Hotel rwanda is no more showing! all your fault!
i got 14 points jadey, im going to TP i guess its the nearest other than NYP which is so eeeee haha. i want to wear a shirt that has my name on it on the first day! wooohooo. hi my name is SAM. such a nice show, i am sam. those who haven't watch it go watch it! oh yea, anyone has the DVD the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? lend me!
ive got a new addiciton haha, world of warcraft! so much better than WC3, but eats up a lot of my time and youth frying(flying) club too wa i can't wait. this year is going to be a good year! this year is going to be a good year! hope it beasts 16! cos my 16 was not a good one, although 17 sounds old.
LETS GO WATCH SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS FRIENDS!!!
i can't wait to go to white castle!
what happened to us
bitching this by benjiwenji at 5:00 PM [comment]
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hello! waiting for your o level results can be really emotional just like YOU old friend! well im happy that you prayed, yea met up with my best friend and he forgot to bring my weights along damn. Madam Azlin is PREGNANT! oh my... haha ok back to getting my results. got to pay for the damn year book neh neh... haha i got 18 for L1R5 ! woohoo not bad for a neighbourhood boy don't you think? haha d7 for my A maths. (my tutor said it was expected) hahaha.
ok so now im debating whether to go to TP or NP, and suggestions? i can go to CJ but nah, dont think i will do well over there. So how?
cant wait to make new friends. weeee
bitching this by benjiwenji at 12:34 AM [comment]
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Went out with Jolene and Cheryl today, Jolene you're such a BIMBO. bimbo bimbo doing the limbo. ok sorry i should shut up. haha *cough(1 and a half hours). Met up with old friend first cos cheryl was still in school. and we took the bus and train to town. an ns guy was staring at me, guess i talk too loud. Went to TAKA to get my Clinique Happy for Men. woohoo smells so nice, beats the women ones eeeeeeee. We picked Cheryl up and we watched Ray. it was not a bbad show. Jazz baby, damn shiok wa.. georgia on my mind. Wa..... The show was long tho, 2hours plus plus? yea had butt cramps hahaha, and i love the saying " Nothing in this world is free, except Jesus"
I watched Saved, so funny. Let me see the Virgin Mary, haha sorry to those who get offended easily but yea one of the character is called Mary and she is not a virgin cause she had sex with her boyfriend so that her boyfriend would stray away from being a gay. hahaha. no more muffins for you, it is closed! hahahaha.
-if i were king of this night, would you become my queen-
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:35 AM [comment]
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Chingay made me want to own a Harley more, and I WILL woohoo.
-if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger-
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:52 PM [comment]
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yea it's nice heard it on radio after dinner last night, wahah dinner was fun. we payed only like $1.05 for 5 people. ahahaha. anyways what damn school debbie? huh? hahaha kenna already dey. anyways Jackson5 is damn nice THERESE! i want you back by jackson5, wooohoo
cheryl, i dont wanna compete with you, cos i failed my mission, cause im not darker. = (
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:50 AM [comment]
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Nights are lonely, Days are so sad.
and im missing you
but nobody knows it but me.
who sang that song anyone has any idea??
Ikea was funn!
bitching this by benjiwenji at 9:51 PM [comment]
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Cherylly(man-frog)! someone said you're a wait... oh oh you're a loyal blog reader. if im not wrong. haha i suntanned today! wooooo i hope i look darker rather than looking like a zebra. cheryl you looked tann too, but not golden! more of a charcoal colour! ahahaha. oh oh i saw a patrick starfish keychain wooohooo i will be getting it today! i pray no one approaches me to buy a rose, cos i already bought one from mickey mouse(jazreen) and gave it to her. anyways happy valentines day for those who celebrate it, although i feel you should treat that special someone as if valentines day is everyday but just dont over do it. and guys who dont know what to do, bloody COOK! its the best thing! no ready-made foods tho.
The canteen rule in acjc that jolene told me was that at the back 2 benches, only ruggers and their girlfriends and the girlfriends' friends who are single can sit there! YOU RUGGERS are watching too much beverly hills 90210 kinda shows. Cherylly some guys have the hots for you i heard??? haha. yea so thats practically the acjc canteen rule if im not wrong. =)
wednesday wednesday, im so scared of this coming wednesday and next friday.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 2:39 PM [comment]
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My First Time! *blush
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:18 PM [comment]
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Sitting at the grand stand in the wee hours of the night loooking at street races and the roaring sounds of harleys cruising-by is something i really wanna do more often.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 10:11 PM [comment]
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God Save Me, God Save Me, God Save Me, God Save Me.
Seeing Harleys roaring and Street races would make me feel better
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:14 AM [comment]
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Yesterday was fun! the day was boring, jamming has now become so dead maybe its because jill wasnt there or something i don't know. we've lost the essence of jamming ah! and it wasn't really a "good" day. saw jazryl in church, didn't know it was her till i left.
I met up with my 10year old friend! haha ok she's not exactly only 10years old. i've known her for 10 years already! since primary 1, yea and we went out, she bastard me a few times back hahahaha. and i must say we bumped a lot of people like Jason, Alvin, Why, Jackie, Rese, Trisha, Paul, Marcus, Nice pants girl. yea 9 people. oh oh and the drummer form kill the poet. We went round everywhere more than 2wice! and can only drink coffee at starbucks at forum. haha coffee is still a shit drink i must say! someone seriously have raging hormones... hahaha. And i hate ACJC's CANTEEN RULE! they're all gonna die!
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:32 AM [comment]
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Today's a nothing much day! Had fun playing with my little cousins during lunch tho, met up with everyone and went for zouk! AVA rocks my ugly socks (no one knows better what socks i have besides you) La mode is it? hahaha yes they were good la, but messy. Haha met Laura again! at zouk nice talking to her and she's always with her sister. I pity her, because her brother scolded her for no reason thats really bad, cause i had high hopes on Greg. Went to eat ramen in the night and walked round town with gab for slippers. and i got home, turned my com on and typing up this shit entry. useless blog.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:06 AM [comment]
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Pearl Master Drum Signature Series - $540
Zildjian Avedis Ride -$460
Sabian Xs Hi-Hats -$270
Zildjian Sound Effects Total China Trash -$???
Tama Rhythmic -$240
A lousy drummer like me? -Priceless
There's something money cant buy, for others u can use master card
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:20 AM [comment]
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i'm gonna be busy the following week, at least i think it would be a busy week. i can't wait. but what about gym? fattie bom bom.
something is still missing!
today is a boring day, i finally called up the company and yes i have an appointment! but its not anytime soon. should have spent my time wisely instead of lying in bed.
-a smile is a curve that can straighten things up-
-the best intentions are frauds of disappointment-
I seriously can't agree more, that sometimes you do something really special to someone, but it doesn't go the way you want it to be or at least you thought it would be.
My Invincible girl,
where have you gone to?
hello now seems so hard to say.
please please tell me what to do.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:17 AM [comment]
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I dare not call the company up to make an appointment, help!!!
Holidays are really such a bore, can't wait to go back to the gym on saturday. haha did i say how funn gym can be at times? when boyfriends brings their girlfriends along, and the boy tries to show off what he is doing although he is boney and stuff. Haha and the girlfriend that doesn't have a cllue what he is doing? me and my bestfriend made so much fun of him! hahahaha Ni Zi Zuo Se Mo? haha. harold and kumar! altho i prefer van wilder.
Please Cheer Me up
-Tell me all was real-
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:47 AM [comment]
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My previous blog was emo? huh whats emo? where got emo? hahaha its not emo la seriously!
i will not friend anyone who hates spongebob and finds him childish. oh yes! i saw an article the other day that christians in the US are telling people not to watch Spongebob because it promotes homosexuality, because all sponge does is hold patrick hands. it also had links of them being against winnie the pooh cos he doesnt wear any pants. boy they got lots of spare time dont they ?
i forgot what i want to say.. please hold... oh yes! thank you jade, this blog looks wonderful although its small. OH I REMEMBER NOW
You guys better watch hotel rwanda, watch it or you will lose out, and not know what makes this world so BLIND! Its about the rwanda genocide, when 2 groups of people although they look the same, same people from the same country but because of the difference in idealism, kill one another. yet again its also about how the white people trying to make things their way, the belgians actually measure the width of these peoples nose, as you know caucasians have long nose and huge nostrils. hahahaha yes, so this hotel manager paul during the genocide helped housed 1126 people, although he was a hutu. maybe because his wife was a tutsi, but he did what i dont think most of us would do, but putting his life on the line to save others.
Sunday's mass was about how to find happiness, nad do not boast about ure wealth, but instead boast about the glory of god. Having lots of money doesnt mean one can be forever happy, and like in the show Hotel Rwanda, Paul thought by making friends with wealthy people who had the power and money to change things, he and his family could be safe. He smoked fine cuban cigars, Scotch that are th Water of Life, he held on so tight what he thought was his messiah, but they left him and even the UN guy who looks like bush says u are just DIRT. ure not even a nigger. damn those words are harsh.
White castle is damn nice! THANK YOU COME AGAIN! damn maria is so hot, i want a bestfriend/room mate that would go to white castle with me too. i want that!
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:01 AM [comment]
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I had one of the most awkward dream last night. haha! Kinda stupid.
Why do you always appear in my dreams, when in life you're never there.
Of course i will miss you debbie, so sorry about the chocolates, haha! Metal teeth bite-r! i will miss daryl too, i need a tommy gun bro as well as jayney. Can i come with any of you guys? actually only left with daryl, haha i should have taken the culinary course. this place is shit yo. hahah crazy
bitching this by benjiwenji at 10:46 PM [comment]
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PUNDAE
-Whats Gone is Gone-
Wa there's something wrong with this shit, and im irritated by it. bleah
-Never to young to learn-
I miss schooling, its weird seeing people going to school and you not going, esp. people from CJ i dont know why, maybe cause they are the only ones in town. i miss my bestfriend from school.
anyways i also have to pay for ADULT FARE. *teet* neh neh! i miss the *teet teet* sound.
-Catch The Fever-
American Idol is so funny, all the contestants. haha! great singers i tell you! i think i prefer the auditions than the finals
-shape up or ship out-
i gotta practise my double pedals man, i seriously think i kinda suck now. like SERIOUS
-The Ground Folds-
But I lost what was mine, and I want what was mine.
My heart now it always breaks, the blood did drip and I take,
another wish, another kiss, no more will for me to kill.
We'd run away in our dismay, but please, come back to me.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:32 AM [comment]
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i've got fucken sore throat damn irritating, haha damn scared to sleep.wahaha anyways went out with tin yesterday, and curly fries were sold out!
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:44 AM [comment]
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i want the green and yellow adidas sweater as well as the black one and the brown one. can can can can?
-i've been dreaming of the time when i shouldnt have let go what was so close to me-
it kinda sucks thinking back about it, and worse of all dreaming about it, wishing you could turn back time and make everything all so right. i've since regretted
bitching this by benjiwenji at 2:09 PM [comment]
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Yesterday was so fun! The highlight of the day was Ronald's birthday party. =) Spencer, Gabriel and I made the best chicken wings ever i think. hahaha ok at least the last few were great. Then we went out to the void deck to play soccer. 3 on 3. hahaha super fun, my pants had a hole and i had 4 blisters. wooops. what was fun was running away from the police hahaha. we came back round 40 mins later to play block catching haha the last one was fun too. we played till the cops came again, but this time it was because someone reported for a robbery case. hahaha damn. yea so 2 police car came.
When i got home, mum was out on the streets jogging. which was around 6.30? yeap yeap yeap.
Today, Saturday was a lousy day. its kinda hard to make yourself seem like everythings ok when its not, waiting for someone isnt a good thing. for like half a day and so on... but i met laura, her family and her friend with super nice eyes haha @ cathay. electrico was playing, and i wanna play like that too, the drummer was good he was all that i paid attention on, the fans are some retards. but imagine jamming in a MALL, the sound was soooo good. yea, oh did i say the keyboardist was hot?
-one year older one year wiser-
happy birthday ronald, eunice and abby.
sorry im not invited la, not cool enough
You may not know but your words hurt me the most
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:25 AM [comment]
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Last night! i dreamt of evangeline! wahaha so bloody weird. she was like saying hi to me and telling her friend about us when we were in primary school. and i reluctantly said hi to her. because i dont know why, find it weird talking to her, or least someone who disappoint and hurt you real bad
bitching this by benjiwenji at 6:45 PM [comment]
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Sharmin, where's my song! havent seen you for a long long time.
Its always been so weird, anyways i dreamt of my friend the other night and actually saw her today crossing the road hahaha.
Tired... type tomorrow. night
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:43 AM [comment]
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Hello! i went to town today by myself because i had to hunt for jobs (be very very quiet, i thought i saw a wabbit) anyways it rained so i kinda made things worse. but town wasnt that hectic and full of people so im rather happy. oh ... maybe its cos it rained? hahahaha
i watched Oliver Twist again today! on discovery channel. phew, he didnt cook @ all if cooking is defined by using heat that is. hahaha yea i can't wait to have my own kitchen or have lots of money to buy groceries. and i want a scooter that would be fun!
These few days and week have been so boring, quiet and lonely. i feel as if i have lost something that i couldnt get enough of.
Can anyone help me regarding to finding a job?
New computer games, new computer games
bitching this by benjiwenji at 9:28 PM [comment]
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I watched Meet the Fockers with Gary! damn funny what an adorable baby boy little jack is. haha so cute i want him to be my son! wahahaha. i cant wait to spongebob to open. anyone wants to come along? weeeeee the PATTY WAGON ahahaha. i cant wait. been watching lots of comedy these few days. never fail to cheer me up.
You guys gotta watch
-bewitched
-simpsons
-spongebob
-friends
-that 70's show
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:25 AM [comment]
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Hello! Went to Upper Thomson to meet up with a guy who's interested in the cymbals. So i went there alone, holidays seriously suck. No one has got time for me. Whats really cool was taking 132 home and watched Jamie Oliver's show. He is the real culinary God. Yea, he always uses his hands which is good! I suddenly have the urge to cook, and have my own kitchen. Haha. Oh well i might go to a culinary school too. it surely would be fun, cooking carbonara everyday hahaha. After my business course i guess. and flying! weeeee so many things to choose from. hate this!He has got very nice accent too, but Irish is still the best.
oh and i watched animal kidding. Damn funny! the kids are so damn cute too. wa....
You rip my heart out
bitching this by benjiwenji at 5:36 PM [comment]
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i miss you
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:15 AM [comment]
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If I Ain't Got You
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:46 PM [comment]
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123 000 and still counting. i pray for each and everyone of you.
paul and i are organising a gig, and i pray it would work out.
good job singapore donating 5 million as well as the world bank donating 250 million for relief
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:01 AM [comment]
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I felt bad because i remembered we would sit at the bus stop and think of a place that sells Dim Sum at around 2 in the morning, and i remember that MY PLACE selled Dim Sum and i never thought of that. So yupp! hope it was nice.Thank You for everything
My Buddies:
Beer Buddy: Marcus
Talkcock Buddy: Therese
Prata Buddy: Claire
Milk Buddy: Jill the act strong girl
What else? hmmm No more
oh oh i watched CSI the other day and it was damn nice, and i think its like an underground restaurant thing, that some chefs would put some crack into their food. Why? To lure their customers back of course. My restaurant would never do that! But yea, and chefs put sands in their knives for PRECISION cutting so thoes at your kitchen are nothing compared to those.
Do you know:
That some beaches in Japan have singing sands, that when waves crash into the shores or some shit like that, some people can actually hear musicals
When the Vikings cheers with one another, the beers would always spill into one another's mug so that if someone intends to poison a person, the person would get poisoned too. So taste Your Own Medicine BIATCH
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:39 PM [comment]
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School's starting and i doubt you would have time for me = ( . But i will keep my promise
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:33 AM [comment]
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Comfortable - John Mayer
I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, isle 5you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.
Can't remember, what went wrong last September
though i'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives
She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty
Life of the party and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say
She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin'and poses for pictures that are being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect
Our love was, comfortable andso broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back
bitching this by benjiwenji at 8:04 PM [comment]
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-Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and i will show you a failure- :Einstein
Did you get that wise saying?
I seriously dont know what've gotten into me these few days. I really hate this feeling. I miss Lionel so much, and daddy and mummy. as well as my older brother. Listening to John Mayer now. i guess i will stay home and just paint my room today, that would be the best =\ . You don't know how lonely you can feel = (
I pray for those who were victims to the Asian Killer Waves.
If i said i missed you, would you believe me?
Think im gonna change the song from my blog, what i am listening to now is so much nicer
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:44 PM [comment]
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WoW! Japan pledged to donate 40 million US dollars to aid the Asian countires whereas the U.S pledged 20 million only, so i guess bringing DEMOCRACY and spending billions of dollars on weapons of destruction to invade a country, eyeing for the trillions of dollars worth of crude oil for the benefit of its own country is more important than saving lives.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:17 PM [comment]
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Hello! Today was painting day, followed granny to C.K Tang to meet her friend, and went to find jill. Because she was kind enough to offer some help to help paint my WALL. Lily white! She paints very well. She's super careless tho wahahaha. ok maybe only once.
i didnt do really much today besides painting, and im happy about it. for once i got bored of warcraft. why ah ?
-i hate this feeling-
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:04 PM [comment]
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I dont know why am i so tired today.
Woke up at 10 plus, to give Jolene her present. Its been a year since i've seen her but yea, she looks different. METAL TEETHS. hahaha. she brought her sweet cute but lazy dog. hahaha like a softoy. hahah lovable but lazy. yea. its like playing fetch, but you end up fetching what you throw. hahaha. but yea Jolene is a nice girl that i have known since primary 1! So yes! Jolene, im proud to say, you're my oldest known friend in my life. hope it last forever? and i sure do hope you like your present.
What are friends for?
My buddy was telling me that she bets we wouldn't even talk by the end of next year. Well im about to prove her wrong. Also i dont think friends are just there temporarily, to me they will always be there forever! =) my living proof? Jolene! haha. yeaps Went to meet trish and Buddy Jill today, thought of watching the fockers, but they weren't showing it so yea we walked around, rese came. we had coconut mint ice cream, and also california PIZZA. it made my day, but i became tired again. hahahah sorry. dont know whats wrong with me. anyways thank you Jill for the lovely checkered box, burberry. so nice! the card was really very sweet too. and it smells damn nice! haha thanks buddy.
-sometimes its hard not to say what you want to say-
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:06 PM [comment]
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-Christmas really lost its meaning-
Im glad i have all my friends here with me. Althought my parents left for China, but oh well i got grandma, and my friends. i would like to thank all my friends for the gifts and cards, i really appreciate it all, no matter the size, colour, cost and looks thank you. i also hope to spend time with granny =) . I would want to repaint my place too, to bali-nese style wahahah. i love it. Mrs. Soh, please lend me your book thank you, please. Anyways i don't come from ACS, cos its for cool people with cool girls, that goes to cool schools with rich daddies. (most of them) and im certainly not cool enough.
I watched Kung Fu Hustle! (not hassle Eunice!) its damn shit lame funny, i laughed like a mad fuck along with spencer, on the other hand gabriel gave that funny look (funny meh?) hahaha. its so nice i cant wait to watch it again. Oh and would someone watch meet the Fockers with me? please? haha martha focker.*squeak *sqeak. the dog gave the doll rum shack. hahah
What else did i do? oh Christmas day! i missed mass, parents left for china. what else oh some stuff happened. played pool, went home. that was it. hahaha so much for everything and being christmas day.
sunday was cool, although i felt that loneliness became a friend of mine. but yea, my friends were there. thank you james. i left soon, cos i didnt feel comfortable, and played warcraft weeeee! went to mark's place to jam, sorry i sucked so much CFB. dont know why haha felt weird. oh wells, i cant wait for things to happen like PAINTING DAY!
Thank you guys for all the gifts, i really appreciate it! I MEAN IT!
For those presents that i gave, i hope you love em too.
Merry Christmas to all, let us not forget that the people in countries are facing poverties, diseases and starvation. Spare a thought for them, its a season for giving. and im sure its not all about having the coolest gifts, because these are just materials in our lives.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:12 PM [comment]
***
Things never always do go the way you want them to, dont they?
Sometimes i wish you can see that you're the one for me
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:15 AM [comment]
***
cooking is seriously damn tiring. and i dont think i can be a chef, because i ate all the baco bits before i could even put it on top of the dish hahaha.wooops. it took me like an hour plus to 2 to be done. it wasnt that THAT bad JILL. but aiya, was so tired that it spoilt my day.
sorry but i actually didnt feel like going for choir, and i went there half-heartedly.
jill, just when i take you seriously, it was the wrong timing.
im seriously thinking of someone damn a lot lot lot lot. =(
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:14 AM [comment]
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i know what i want for christmas!
-a pug! (nothing to do with that "local" poppy band
-a trampolene
-ear phones
-a orange/yellow/silver murcielago
-spending it with you!
im in love with the sentence "in his name, all oppression shall be cease", if only that is really true, that there will be no more wars =) . peace peace peace on earth and goodwill to all
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:48 PM [comment]
***
My milk buddy! whens our competition, i love your BALI-NESE huge cave/crib/mansion/HOUSE. its not paranakanesh
bitching this by benjiwenji at 3:10 AM [comment]
***
The geek wahaha (gig) was so-so, although i played my best like how someone told me too, and i in the end enjoyed myself and was "conducting" the crowd, it wasnt really that good, because we had to cut down to 4 songs and K.C got injured. my poor brother. we played 2 covers and 2 originals, in hidings were great, SFG too were not bad. The venue wasnt really that ideal and 60 dollars for 4 songs. i seriouslt would rather busk around town, least the proceeds go to the children cancer foundation. well least i suggested ours to be proceed to breast and fanjita cancer foundation wahahahaha. NO worries bout not coming =) i understand, im not angry or anything. so no worries ok? smile sunshine!
Came home really tired and full, wanted to meet up with jill and rese but was damn lazy to go to thomson and back home again.i watched who's line is it anyway in the end, one of the best shows ever boy! shiok. do they have it in dvds. anyways my i pod earphone broke and it serioulsy sucks.
Today was great went to town shopping BY MYSELF cause Owsky was late, but i went to kinokuniya and got a great COOK BOOK as well as Alternative Press. =) i went to far east then walking around look for Tees, till mark came and we went around town, in hidings played again, they were better, the amps were better at least. but the vocals amp sucked. haha but i could hear it clearly.
Sorry jill for being so late making you all wait for us. ure house look so much nicer compared to the previous occasion when i was at your place. its so huge! and i thought i had the biggest kitchen till i met yours eeyer sian. COMPETITION. Your parents are very nice! Uncle Ben lets play Golf soon, when i get my handicapp that is. hahaha did i say washing the plates was fun? thank you for the gathering jill, really appreciate it. though i promised to tell you a secret. hahaha
Did i say i loved your checkered pants?
Did i say i love your huge mega nice house?
Did i say i love the shirt you wore for the gig?
Did i tell you i was stronger than you?
Did i tell you whens the surprise?
Did i tell you i want to make Pizza at your place, cause you got a very nice kitchen
hahahaha sorry, im that that bored. oh my, days of our lives is on TV. not whos line is it anyway.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:46 AM [comment]
***
Yesterday was a really fun and great day, although i had to run from SVDP to IHM to home and then to SVDP to Mark's house and to church again, probably thats why i was so tired. oh well there's is a party tomorrow! milk competition hahaha so it would be cool. anyways shine jesus shine was really good, and if orchard road did have an event like that, singapore would be a better place, hands down. i really can't believe that current singapore laws allow young mummies ( like the age of 13) to abort the baby without parental consent. So what about the problem of ageing population?
the play was great, the praise and worship were great, the choirs were damn good. i had a fun time singing haha although the first half of the time was looking around the church for someone.
shite i don't really feel that excited bout the gig already.
thank you babe for caring so much, think you'll know who you are =)
bitching this by benjiwenji at 9:37 AM [comment]
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i somehow feel really so alone again. as if in the eyes of my friends im nothing.
im sorry i cannot wake people up in time
im sorry im not a good musician that can bells ring so nicely
im sorry im not as smart as the others
some sacrifices i made, things i did, i dont think anyone appreciated it, at all.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:28 PM [comment]
***
i dont know why am i up at this hour 5.21am! must be thinking of some stuffs!anyways is so quiet in the morning! haha was cuddling with lionel cause he didnt have his blanket, that chubby boy.i seriously dont know whats on my mind, and why am i thinking about it. aiyooo i'll try to get back to sleep. gotta jam later.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 5:13 AM [comment]
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i cant tag my own tagboard, haha! So who's this i seriously dont know
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:15 PM [comment]
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i feel so honoured Jill
this few days are really fun jamming, but i feel so alone.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:12 AM [comment]
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I will be watching spongebob squarepants with that special someone. hahahaha
gabriel lets do what we intend to ok?
busy writing! laters. can't wait to meet my milk buddy for our challenge.wa i got lots of buddies.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:32 PM [comment]
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hmmm who am i going to spend christmas with? when my parents are in China? ahhhh! wa i can't wait to barbercue at marcus house hahaha! cos there's PIZZA
movies to watch (rent)
-the terminal
-shrek 2
-de-lovely
-elf
-big fish
-farenheit ???
movies to watch
-SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. im paying for you QUEEN
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:08 PM [comment]
***
i just completed metal gear solid both 2 and 3 in a row, 3 is so much more fun! anyways i think its true that sometimes people cant handle the truth and they just be a S.L and blame it on someone else, they cant make decisions and just listen to others. I find it damn true that sometimes people are afraid of getting hurt themselves and instead give an excuse that they are afraid to hurt the others. haha got that from MGS 2 , so go play it... 3 is a lot more fun, espionage! weeeee
i cant wait for honey wheats honey wheats honey wheats
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:17 PM [comment]
***
choir camp was so fun. tiring but it was all good. i admit i went there feeling bored at first, like wa i can't wait to end the camp for SOME reasons and then when i was at the c camp it was a total different thing. the BOYS dorm was really small and probably thats why messy. like a slum, and i love the girls dorm, so neat and all of them had mattresses. then we had the guardian angel thing, which was totally new to me, but it was so funny hahaha.
the camp was good in many ways. it was fun because we learned lots of new carols, we had a lots of games. the one where we ran the whole orchard, my group came in last. but it was fun. we did all the road blocks we only left 2 out, causes we didnt go to the venue. we did 350 jumping jacks at grand hyatt, carol and busk at pacific, collected different plastic bags at taka, a shopping list at galleria. really great! although we lost, my group been through all the shits, and had fun. the following day was the main EVENT. we sat on the bus singing heading for SWISSOTEL. when we reached, we saw a freaking hummer! in case you guys dont know, its a cool SUV that runs on a V8 engine. and this is not a locally registered car, actually hummers are not imported to singapore. probably cos of its size. i guess its from some ambassador or something, cos the drivers seat is on the left, the rims are chromed and it is sweeeet. hahaha i want that car baby. then we headed up to the rooftops of the hotel for soundcheck. weeeeee. it was so windy, and from where we were, we could see monstercue, potong pasir, clarke quay actually almost every where. oh ya we could see S R Nathan play golf. IM KIDDING but his crib was huge. then we started caroling and it was so cool, oh we sang for a bunch of weapons of mass destruction companies. hahaha and later on the food was great i tell you, sushi! oh my cheese on top of oysters, turkey bigger than my head. damn shiok. had screwdrivers and i came to a conclusion that im a good drinker, but alcohol is another shit drink like coffee. then some guys got high i was high for awhile but i was back to normal in church. anyways as we ended our performance, we headed down and i saw a martha focker(meet the fockers a nice show!) LAMBORGHINI murcielago, V12, 6.2L engine, orange in colour oh my. hot ride, wa i took lots of pictures of it, and i will post it up when i get a new computer ok?
anyways the journey home(church) wasnt a pleasant ride. there were some shit happening, and it was like a nightmare, you cant do anything but just ... watch. but i guess the whole choir experienced something they never had before, and i think it was a good thing. and i truly respect my bestfriend, vincent. he is a guy that i dont know, like gives off and aura that really make you feel and know that he is a great man.
then the next day we had a games and we felt so bad, cos the game we played made us know that we always give jesus our burdens without knowing. mass was great most of us lost our voices, didnt see some friends, went to mcdonalds to eat. thats about it. choir camp bonded everyone together, hahah oh did u know, i have a queen hahahhaha and im the KING cos i have a metal cup shiok ah?
today i went town alone, i dont know why, i went to look for jobs, but i tell you it is worse than being rejected hahah i guess. never got rejected before, wait have i? forgot already but oh wells. and i sit in the train thinking. going out alont sometimes makes me feel better i dont know why. oh well i was happy topman called me up, and i hope i am offered the job. sheesh, the something inside me is missing. i dont really feel happy cos of the holidays. oh well tomorrows another day for HOUGANG GYM, RAHHHHH
bitching this by benjiwenji at 9:38 PM [comment]
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im thinking of someone badly
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:09 AM [comment]
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i think im sick too, and i need my miracle drink, ku cao! i might go a day late for choir camp, and i think dave is gonna kill me already.
i need to relax when i play! phwah damn jia lat. see you guys at the substation (subway) wahahaha. the coffee shop chinese woman is soooo.... eeyeer anyhoe touch the orge's phallus. hup seng's prata is still the best
bitching this by benjiwenji at 3:19 PM [comment]
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hello! how have you guys been! holidays are here, time to be free! and spend quality time with my close friends. i didnt know why i went the other day, haha siao one. talking about it , im called echo siao, marcus tan called me that dont know for what reason too, but he is calledd choir siao. i dont know why i got high singing the marshmellow part probably cos its so HIGH!
i just got myself an ixus 40, gorgeous thing i tell you, i fell in love with it like nothing else. hahahaha, hoe i wont drop it or scratch it or.. lose it... AH AH AH AH AH. went shopping to prepare for camp, couldnt find a small colgate so i bought a kids colgate, bubblegum flavour POKEMON colgate! weeeee im gonna read the bible now, or later, im starting to feel bad, not being the best of me. its a nice song! i wanted to change it but nah its alright, this blog isnt anything wonderful anyways. see you
bitching this by benjiwenji at 9:05 PM [comment]
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was talking to my old friend the other day, and although it was just for a few minutes, i'm really glad we did. i dont know why. I've known her since i was primary 4. her names evangeline and she is seriously a very good friend. my best friend since primary 4 till 6. who else who write me letter even though there is this thing called the telephone. and calling me for movies or lunch at her place with the others? no one else.
oh well, after primary school some things changed, we each went our different paths, and i lost contact of her. she moved away and only a year later did i manage to get her number. i guess everyone changes, and im sure she did change to a better person, although i seriously hope things would change back to the same again auntie chicken... you're a smart girl and u deserve to go to rjc. oh well the chances of her seeing this is minute.
we have a lot of catching up to do
bitching this by benjiwenji at 3:37 PM [comment]
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whats all this nonsense i have been typing? so silly! anyways dont know why im back here but oh well, things are doing fine for me, except for a few things i wanna change here and there. other than that im quite fine. currently reading Eminem's whatever you say i am. i cant wait to get my hands on Alicia key's Tears for water. aint she a pretty girl. oh as well as Tony Parsons' new book. he is a great author. my friends still have my books with em like Christabel! oh well can't wait to go to the carshow with CLAIRE! and pick our future rides bwahahah, jokes. anyways go watch MONDAY'S gone in 60 seconds, it features the Mustang GT500 shelby Super Snake. a real hot ride.
i really sometimes wish my friends wouldnt change, at least i felt more comfortable with them when they were who they used to be.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:21 AM [comment]
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7 more days! i seriously dont wanna think about it anymore.
next time i will give only the exact amount, no one said it was not refundable.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:08 PM [comment]
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im so tired... about everything, must it be like this?
it going to be hard letting in, opening up, and let things be. really hard so please help me big man.
if i said this was killing me, would you stop?
my picture would always be with *you
bitching this by benjiwenji at 2:34 AM [comment]
***
rese made me want to buy the book so much that i actually bought it. i suggest people who are reading this to get this book or at least borrow and read it. its called The Five People You meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. its already a bestseller so it wouldn't be hard finding it, unless its out of stock? haha.
was talking to rese baby girl awhile ago before i got disconnected and i think she fell asleep already. she ought to. its 3.24 am. and i have tuition later on.. but i want to finish reading the book and i have started to think about things again.
i always thought it would last long, don't ask why but i just thought so. when she told me once it isn't a breakup but a break for me to study. it just came to my mind.
-Yes it was pretty obvious-
im kinda glad god told me things the other day. well actually it was that day.
-going through obstacles i thought would made us stronger-
bitching this by benjiwenji at 3:22 AM [comment]
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My reasons
The reason why i always wanted to meet you when you were nearby like Jalan Kayu or at Serangoon garden's for confirmation wasn't because i was insecure but i just wanted to spend time with you. so please don't get me wrong
the theme for boondock saints... fell in love with it
bitching this by benjiwenji at 3:46 PM [comment]
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i know what i want after my O's!
1. To jam at home
2.To perform and make our own CD
3.Join the YFC
4.Buy new Remo Emperor Skinhead for my toms
5.A new snare
6.The whole season of Simpsons DVD and OC's
7.To get a job
8.A new fast crash, a chinese cymbal and a pair of ZXT hi hats from Sabian
9.To skate if there is a chance. i miss the life of Softoy, it was sure a lot better than now.
10.Have a friend to watch those shows i bought with me every night
11.Shop and Shop and Shop
12.Plan for my future
jeez i wish a sugar mama was reading this. bwahahaha what jokes.im gonna study now, or sleep and wake up to study at 7 later.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:51 AM [comment]
***
The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory: Magnanimity. In Peace: Goodwill.
It has been said that Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.
Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Play the game for more than you can afford to lose... only then will you learn the game
Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm
Eating words has never given me indigestion.
Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted
Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:52 PM [comment]
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bloody limewire laggged my whole computer
i didn't study much today, spent my time instead on travelling. went to gardens to study with ow wee and jessica saw nicola on the way.
im kind of glad the o's are coming because it would end soon too, but im also afraid that i wouldn't have enough time to study.
been listening to classical songs this few days. im not sure why too. i miss jazz! shoosh! i want count basie to come back and perform here again! see butch miles and his solos woooweee. swing jazz is the best! but all the songs are about love or wooing girls. But i don't care! i like it! haha im crazy. must be the caffine...
i haven't heard the sound of black yet, but soon enough i am going to own one. im not gonna sit there and just wish it would happen. im gonna sit there... and think of ways to make it happen. i hope to own my own assets soon enough.
yes paul! i miss jamming too.i need to learn new skills! shop for stuffs and also learn my part for Bridges left fire i mean bridges left burning. sorry got influenced by Spencer on that day. wa i wanna see what happened to those steps at PS that couldn't handle me and spencer's weight. i know im heavy!!!! oh can i buy those large bass? it would look cool on me. wahahahaa ok maybe the band.
-when somone close to you feel sad, you'll feel sad too. somehow-
-families are by chance but friends are by choice. choose your friends wisely-
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:34 PM [comment]
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7 hours and going strong! weeee...i hope to study till i drop and die while studying. anyways was watching Rides on discovery. wa... they make me want to own a mustang too. super nice! they took a ford and totally changed it to a Mustang Shelby GT500 ! actually the mustang i think or reeckon from what they say was made fom Ford's 1965 thunderbird. so wow weee im gonna get that car as my first car in the U.S or maybe the hummer! hmmm nah! i will get the Shelby Super Snake first. Go watch Gone in 60seconds, it featured that car! 750 horse power with a v8 engine and NOS, vintage look. i can't hardly wait. and some baseballer got that car, they made one for him, sheesh. one day boy!
oh well now that i have goals to achieve. i make sure im gonna achieve it. if that peter lim can do it, then why not?
-have you heard the sound of black yet?-
bitching this by benjiwenji at 10:50 PM [comment]
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studied for 5 hours today! im gonna study more though, at least 10. I don't think its enough still. i can't wait till it's six to watch the simpsons or samurai x or even better BOTH. but simpsons are a whole lot nicer for now. i wanna buy the whole series as well as the OC and find someone who would watch with me day and night during my holidays (which is 8 months LONG)
as stupid as it sounds, after so many days... i miss that someone.
if everything points to this direction then I will do my best.
oh fuck everything
bitching this by benjiwenji at 5:44 PM [comment]
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gotta study 10 hours today, all thanks to my meano friend who made me guilty of everything. lets go for the gigs we wanna go, the tattoos we wanna get(have we even chose one yet?), the pool we wanna play.
-coffee gets me high-
gonna change some of my lyrics =) , above everything, i dont want to be the one that hurts *you
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:12 PM [comment]
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practical was tough, for chemistry probably cause i was scared and wasn't confident.
today i lay in bed think about things again. But this time, rather the sweet memories i have. Like the time we walked from lido to wheelock place and so many other occasions, and i didn't know why, but i looked at the past entries of my diary.always interesting to read past entries though.Like how she surprised me, by lying that she would only come back a week later.
i slept at four last night, asking myself questions and i was nervous for practical.hahahaha
words we spoke
walks we walked
promises we made
movies we watched.
How can i forget all this?
I can't do this myself.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:52 PM [comment]
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somethings are still in my head which i still can't figure out. i read the previous entries and i really don't know what to think or do. it was Certaintly not the right time nor was it suppose to even happen. i'm sorry i kept asking you who *you was, and i think you got irritated by your friend asking you the same thing too. sorry that i'm like that. i hope you will tell me everything when it seems the best time to do so.
i can't wait to jam emo songs woohoo, and get new stuffs for my drums.But first, i have got to study. Hope i can stay at someone's house and for once study like a mad fuck.So who will adopt me for 2 weeks?
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:08 AM [comment]
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Been having weird dreams, like my dad sending Lionel to the american school just because he wants to be a pilot too, what about me? haha weird... oh well at least dreams are not chasing me like how it used to anymore. does stars and smile sound nice??? hmmm....
bitching this by benjiwenji at 10:56 PM [comment]
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Tomorrow's my science pratical wooo gonna die, i pray it won't come out electricity, cause i can just give up and die. Ponytail Parades by Emery's damn nice, real nice lyrics which suits me best now.
23 days has passed, and i am still like this. the Emo-ness almost got over me while i was lying in bed just now. How do you do so well, ok now im hoping something that i don't think will happen. But girl i hope it does.
-You'll never lose me to my JC/Poly friends, or whoever im gonna meet the next time. But i don't think i can say the same for you.I hope so too. =) -
bitching this by benjiwenji at 7:49 PM [comment]
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EMERY LYRICS
"The Ponytail Parades"
three sleepless nights
this isn't how its supposed to be
but you are so good at taking your time
to get back to me
i will wait for you forever,if you would just ask me
i thought that i could change youbut you changed me
but it doesn't feel right
holding someone else's hand
together on phone line
and living at two opposite ends
its scares me to think that you could find takers other than me and better than me
but you're head is elsewhere and im talking enough for both of us
when will you see it's not so easy for meyour careless and whispered insulting and bruising
and i thought that you said things were improving
these laces are untiedbut my feet are still walking away
(i fall from you eyes, your eyes i trusted, you said forever)
i never thought that you could say these words is this really happening?
i never thought that you could say these words is this really happening?
(don't say...)
i never thought that you could say these words is this really happening?
(don't say that we can...)
i never thought that you could say these words is this really happening?
(don't say that we can still be...)
i never thought that you could say these words is this really happening?
(don't say that we can still be friends)
erase my name from this pagehow can you take all these days
(what is inside of me what have i done)
and tow them away
(is this the only way that you will notice me)
as i sit here waiting for you
(dead words for closed ears all this is sung for you)
i stay upnights
(if you are still pretending this is what's right)
until stars leave the sky
(why cant you look at me can you only see)
knowing what my dreams can take away
( sides, your side, can take away)
walk away from me this night is done
bitching this by benjiwenji at 7:46 PM [comment]
***
i feel so weird today, i don't know. i wish i could do something about it, but i can't. everything is so strange now. suddenly this happen, that happen. worse of all, i dont know who to trust anymore.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 2:12 PM [comment]
***
Happy Thoughts. Happy Thoughts. Happy Thoughts.
-Emo Me, Meano You-
Hmm i wonder what would it be like to ROAR at a crowd and everyone just walk away from me. Thanks Jolene... and its MY CD not YOUR'S
-It's hard going back there again-
i wish i would never go back there, cos there was where true feelings that kept in oneself would be there, and i could do nothing else but read. and already i feel so heavy, i don't know why.It's gonna take time, before we would talk again, i have to keep on reminding myself about certain things. I hope you understand that im trying as hard as i can too.
-Topshop/Topman-
I found a partner to work with me! its none other than JAZRYL! wooohooo. we are going to give lame excuses to the manager. we are going to buy down Topshop !
-I own a BMW-
hey Cutest smile girl, cheer up ok ? lets see who can get a BMW or a lamborghini first yeas? then we will head down to Westcoast Customs to get it PIMP'D.
-Dang, and not deng-
Its hard talking to you and not think of others things.Its gonna be hard.
I got turned down to go to aussie land,
I was so angry that i actually studied.
-I never will forget those nights.I wonder if it was a dream.Remember how you made me crazy?Remember how I made you scream.Now I don't understand what happened to our love.But babe, when I get you backI'm gonna show you what I'm made of-
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:39 PM [comment]
***
im kind of glad things cleared up, but still, i didn't want to lose her. If we made the wrong turn, can we turn back again?
i don't want to be selfish but i too don't want to be neglected
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:33 PM [comment]
***
when i look at you
i wish i can hold you once again
when i look at you
i wish i could say i love you
when i look at you
i wish i can kiss you once more,
bitching this by benjiwenji at 12:57 PM [comment]
***
Somethings i have come to realise, somethings i have come to let go.
read from my teacher a nice saying. success isn't total, failure isn't fatal. it is the courage to get back on that counts. - Winston Churchill
bitching this by benjiwenji at 5:32 PM [comment]
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im sorry for everything.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:48 PM [comment]
***
i came to be enlightned by my friend. i need to do something about myself.
let my flesh be your shield says:
you have to make the change ..
let my flesh be your shield says:
which is to accept life which God has chosen for you
let my flesh be your shield says:
you have to make best of what ever lesson yo have and cherish
let my flesh be your shield says:
never ask yourself what you could have ....but can have
benjiwenji.blogspot how do you do so well? says:
thanks man
let my flesh be your shield says:
and no matter whether she when with a thousand guys and cheated on you
let my flesh be your shield says:
its not going to make a diff
let my flesh be your shield says:
because ..she's gone
let my flesh be your shield says:
she left you
let my flesh be your shield says:
and dude ..
let my flesh be your shield says:
pull your balls up
let my flesh be your shield says:
love is not experience..
let my flesh be your shield says:
it is a feeling
let my flesh be your shield says:
a feeling you can gave back ..
let my flesh be your shield says:
but it is there and then ..
let my flesh be your shield says:
like how time passes
let my flesh be your shield says:
its destoried the moment it is created
let my flesh be your shield says:
get it ben ..
benjiwenji.blogspot how do you do so well? says:
yes mr ronald
let my flesh be your shield says:
and how married couple get so long?
let my flesh be your shield says:
the love they have for one another is made like the seconds of the day
let my flesh be your shield says:
so dude ..
benjiwenji.blogspot how do you do so well? says:
ya i know
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
and dude ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
you dont miss mel
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
you miss what she can give you
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
love
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
and trust me
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
that love you get from mel
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
only last as much that it can exsist
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
but ben
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
search ffrom the scourse
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
source*
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
God ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
god was the one who gave that love from mel to you
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
and trust me ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
when you're touch by he's love ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
things will seem much happy then it seems
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
i mean ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
hey ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
if mel's love was so nice...
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
what would God's love be?
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
if the love of friends can feel so nice?
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
what would God's love feel like
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
if love from parents can feel so nice ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
what would God's love feel like?
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
hmmm si si
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
i'm telling you ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
ok wait ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
do you get what i mean?
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
yes
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
so God's love feels much better then from friends?
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
yes? no?
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
yes
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
no
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
the true love you find in friends is the true love found in God
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
because God created that love
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
and that love comes from god
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
in the way .
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
love which is real..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
comes from God
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
love from a girl may be differnent in a way
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
because you relate to a girl in a different way
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
just like any other love
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
love from friends
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
love from family
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
but the value of love is the same
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
in fact
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
you cannot value love
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
its to much to bear
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
so dude?
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
like i said
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
what ever i said will not make a diff
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
no u did enlightened me
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
and although i cant accept the fact
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
i guess its true
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
fact is what is judged by one's self and mind
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
and fact is found through the reasoning of different materials
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
ben ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
fact is what made by you
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
and you alone
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
and maybe the fact is also that ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
its a way of God trying to make your life more bright and colourful
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
for an experience to relate to problems
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
an experience to talk about with friends
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
and maybe fact
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
maybe that you may go out with other girls so that the love you give will be well appreciated
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
get what i mean ben?
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
yes
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
i think i've asked you this before ...if a tree falls and no one is there to hear..did the tree make a sound?
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
nope
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
it made a sound, but just that no one heard it
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
but how you know when no one is there to hear
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
if some one ask you to prove it ..
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
how?
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
hahah
benjiwenji.blogspot thank you mate! says:
ideally cannot la
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
cannot?..but why did you say it made a sound
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
why do you say ideal?
solomon asked for wisdom,i'll ask for love says:
its because you came down to a conclusion without explaination and consider it fact
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:46 PM [comment]
***
i am feeling so like fuck. God tell me what to do?
bitching this by benjiwenji at 10:57 PM [comment]
***
Hurt me as if nothing won't happen.
If you had a heart to hurt me,
then you never had the heart to love.
How am i to excuse from your excuses
when all your excuses were just pure lies.
How can i give you back the trust,
when you fell out half the way.
Why are you doing this
its still an enigma to me.
Why did i do wrong
is still a quesion.
Like how you said you hate lies,
well you just lied to me.
The starts will cry the blackest tears tonight.
Today my heart cried out like never before
A thought for my feelings would be lovely.
My heart was yours from day 1 till day 44
Your heart,lost even before the 1st.
Freedom i gave,
leash i had unleashed
yet to the brink of oblivion
everything was lost.
Make peace while you still can,
but as everything prevails.
You cannot do what you've undone.
Like how you stabbed me,
my heart would always leave a scar.
Like how played me
i wish it would just end.
Sweet memories never fail to make me smile
but bitter ones
reminded me of how did i feel.
Committed to others,
but yet not me.
simple to be maintained
i just wanted you.
never ever wanted to be selfish
yet again never want to feel neglected.
you will never know how i feel.
to feel hurt.
to think that this first relationship
would last a lifetime.
to give everything i got,
but nothing in return.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 10:12 PM [comment]
***
Sunflower on her bed
Look at me, tell me that it isn't true
Say that you once loved me too
How can feelings dwell
Unless there was someone else
I returned the trust you gave
Why do you still have to leave?
The time you ignored me
i knew something was wrong
From how you spoke
i knew that something wasn't right
Go away...Away from me
Sunflower on your bed
you said you have so much to say
but the words won't come out
2 weeks later, i had nothing to say too
because you left me
i'm trying not to believe
what they have to say.
but believe none other than myself.
but somethings seem hard to believe.
and somethings i hope i didnt see.
like no other, i love you so much.
i wish i can make you see,
that we were meant to be.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:02 AM [comment]
***
girls dont like boy, girls like cars and money
wa im damn hungry, should have gone to mee sek and eat earlier on. regretting
bitching this by benjiwenji at 4:33 PM [comment]
***
Leaving On A Jetplane
All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
But the dawn is breaking it's early morning
The taxi is waiting, he is blowing his horn
Already I'm so lonesome, I could cry
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you wait for me
Hold me like you never let me go
I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go
There is so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now they don't mean a thing.
Every place I go I think of you
Every song I sing I sing for you.
When I come back I wear your wedding-ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you wait for meHold me like you never let me go
I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes, and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to comeI
wont have to leave alone, and I
wont have to say:
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you wait for meHold me like you never let me go
I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again.
I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again.
I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again.
Oh babe I hate to go.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 4:13 PM [comment]
***
I guess tomorrow's gonna be a hard day to go by. its the 12th of october, it would surely bring back sweet memories. I don't know why things have to change. I have not much to say now, i don't know why, probably i have wrote everything that i wanted to say on my previous, earlier entries. News seriously do spread fast, even jessica knowes about the sunflowers, bwahahaha and she made me remember things. oh well, nothing much i can do. i guess it's a two way thing, and i certaintly don't want to be a reluctant lover.yea i do want things to go back, but ben ben boy... i guess i have got to face the truth. all i can do is ask God for answers. I'm sure that i tried my hardest, like i never did before, maybe it wasn't hard enough.Although i thought it was already hard, when i search the whole holiday of september to get a bracelet, and piglet softoy, a card and a sunflower searching from wheelock place to galleria to far east and getting a cab to her place and then back. i also had to trouble her maids and her sister. Choir was tough, i didn't expect it to be this tough. i am enjoying it and i hope i am committed to it. i just gotta keep in mind that im a bassist so i need to sing at a very low pitch. the people there are all very nice. and i guess what ronald said was right.That we should pay attention on perfecting and paying attention on mass and not making the CD A week ago i went to ronald's place saw his brother's Honda CBR , gorgeous! and we talked about lots of things and he's damn funny! he is a nice fella that makes me not think of things too much. i guess it was hard for him too. I'm not sure whats gonna happen in the future, and i am not sure if i want to leave for aussie land, its gonna be a tough decision. Im gonna miss my family and friends, sure i would leave my troubles behind but im sure gonna miss those good times as well as my family and my good friends. i am not sure... i hope i can come to a decision soon. Oh its already 12.05! gotta congratulate myself! happy uh... wahahaha.
-the sunflower on her bedroom
***
Would you
-cry if i leave
-say those words that i want to hear so badly
-promise me like what you said that you would wait for me
Why Would You
-lie to me and say i brought you true happiness
-say your not committed but wanted to start things with me
-say you will always be mine
Please dont
-Lie to me anymore,cause my heart can't take it anymore
I miss
-the phonecalls
-the messages
-going out together
-you
i guess
-i'm only dreaming...
-the piglet couldn't replace the tedy bear
bitching this by benjiwenji at 2:34 PM [comment]
***
this is a song i wrote, kinda sucky cos there's no chorus. gonna add it up when i think of one
Dreams Are Chasing Me
I can't help but think of you all day
I dread the thought of trying to forget you
Lying there wishing everything would be the same
But i guess im only dreaming
guess i'm only dreaming
All the time i cant help but think of you
i try to stop by sleeping
But in my dreams there were always you
so why won't you just come back to me
i dont wanna dream no more
dont wanna dream no more
my friends tell me i have to move on
but its hard forgetting you
so hard to face it that i lost you
should i wait for you to come back
or am i just dreaming?
i guess im just dreaming
bitching this by benjiwenji at 5:55 AM [comment]
***
tell me girl
- how can something i thought was so right become so wrong
-i thought i was the luckiest guy in the world.
tell me baby
-how can 2 person used to be so close be so distant now
-what happened to the sweet messages and the nights when i could hear your voice
-what happened to you
-a phone line in Malaysia, 2 msgs to your besties and the rest just for me
-drumsticks just for me
-messages that says you'll always be mine and you'll change just for me
tell me love
-why the sudden change of heart
-i thought we would never part when i thought we were the perfect match
-its so hard to accept now that i was wrong
-its even harder trying not to think about it, and when i sleep, i dream about it
tell me angel
-what did i do wrong
-why does it hurt so much
tell you something
-i also thought what my friends say were wrong
-the first relationship would be the hardest to forget
-i loved you with everything i got and with all my heart
-you probably have forgotten me, but im still struggling to do the same
-i dont like whatever you say that's right, after how wrong you did to me
don't tell me gorgeous
-that you're not worthed it, cause i always thougt you were
-that you weren't committed, because to me, you were committed the last time
-it faded just like that
-sorry
bitching this by benjiwenji at 1:29 AM [comment]
***
I'm a woman Lord knows it's hard I need a real man to give me what I need Sweet detention, love and tenderness When it's really unconditional I'm telling ya Cause a man just ain't a man if he's man enough
So love you when you're right Love you when you're wrong Love you when you're weak Love you when you're strong Take you higher in a world that you're feeling low He's giving you his last, as he's thinking of your first Giveing comfort when he's thinking that you're hurt That's what it's like when you really really love someone I'm telling ya, I'm telling ya
Cause you're a real man And Lord knows it's hard Sometimes you just need a woman's touch Sweet affection, love and support When it's really unconditional I'm telling ya, oh Cause a woman ain't a woman if she's woman enough
So love you when you're right Love you when you're wrong Love you when you're weak Love you when you're strong Take you higher in a world that you're feeling low She's giving you a best, even when you are at your worst Giving comfort when she's thinking that you're hurt That's what it's like when you really really love someone I'm telling ya, I'm telling ya Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Sometimes you're gonna argue, sometimes you're gonna fight Sometime it's gonna feel it'll never be right But something so strong if you hold it on It don't make sense what to make a good song Cause a man just ain't a man if he's man enough
So love you when you're right Love you when you're wrong Love you when you're weak Love you when you're strong Take you higher in a world that you're feeling low He's giving you his last, as he's thinking of your first Giving comfort when he's thinking that you're hurt That's what it's like when you really really love someone I'm telling ya, I'm telling ya I'm tellying ya that if a woman ain't a woman if she's woman enough
So love you Love you when you're right Love you when you're wrong To hold you Love you when you're weak Love you when you're strong Take you higher and higher In a world that you're feeling low She's giving you a best, even when you are at your worst Giving comfort when she's thinking that you're hurt That's what it's like when you really really love someone I'm telling ya, I'm telling ya Mm, mm, yeah Mm, mm, yeah Mm, mm, yeah Mm, mm, yeah
By Alicia Keys. When You really Love Someone.
bitching this by benjiwenji at 12:19 AM [comment]
***
had a talk with a good friend, and she made me feel so much better! thank you GURU bwahahahaha
bitching this by benjiwenji at 12:30 AM [comment]
***
i remember like yesterday, the time of my life. please dont leave me without saying goodbye. actually please don't leave me. i dont wanna hear you say goodbye.
the words came out so powerful, it stabbed me in the heart or like bullets, shot through it. sometimes the words made me feel as if im king and she was my queen.
One mile to every inch of Your skin like porcelain One pair of candy lips and Your bubblegum tongue. - john mayer
i was so glad to have you, i would do whatever it takes to stay near with you. i was so glad i found you. put your arms around me baby and never let me go. i gave my all, and now im heartless cause i gave her my whole heart. in fact everything i got. - the starting line
the best days of my life all thanks to you. - the starting line
nobody say it was easy, its a shame for us to part. no one ever say it would be this hard. - cold play
when somebody loved me, everything seems so beautiful. - sarah mclaughlin
tell me what you thought about when you were gone and so alone. the worse is over and we're still young. we never grew out of this feeling that we won't give up.. - the starting line.
jumping to conclusions made me fall away from you. - the starting line
you almost always pick the best times, to drop the worse lines. you almost made me cry again this time. - the used
from the moment you left i knew that something wasn't right. but the feeling is gone - senses fail
It's so nice sitting very still,in a room where no one else can feel the pain that breaks my heart each day, I'm not ok. - senses fail
bitching this by benjiwenji at 10:27 PM [comment]
***
Why will there be misunderstandings, i guess because there is something wrong with the relationship. why does it hurt so much? just even to see pictures of her? and why is it that its only me that is feeling so hurt. i don't think she is, but i still am. and i feel like leaving everything. it really pains me. im seriously not okay, when everything meant to be perfect, but now it seems so ... whatever
where have i gone wrong? i dont know why am i writing this but i guess i just feel like shit thats why, and i seriously wanna run away from it or better make things the same again. things would be worse if ... argh, me and my stupid ways of thinking.
-true friends stab you in the front-
Why is she doing this to me, i really wanna know. i cannot take advantage of myself and feel fine. when everytime all i think of is *you. when im with my friends, its like an escape, but when i am alone, *you just appear like *you always do. and sometimes i just feel like giving up studying and everything, cos it really fucking hurts a lot.
-i thought i could sleep my troubles away, but dreams caught up with me. dreams of you-
-tell me what you said isn't true-
one girl is enough for my life, why couldn't it be just you. days passed and im still not fine. so would you stop this pain tonight? please?
bitching this by benjiwenji at 10:12 PM [comment]
***
Is it really true? i guess it's like my friends say OBVIOUS. i have a feeling she felt out of love for me like during the september holidays, not only recently. Thats why she wanted us to break up for awhile. So she could set things straight i guess. i miss her badly. eating me inside. i dont know bout her but it really hurts me a lot. ok carrying on, i guess thats why on that confirmation day she did does things, i guess cos she was confused, but she doesn't want me to know the reasons for her actions. i guess thats why i always never get my sms replies, or the unconditional love she used to show me. and i thought i was the one that wouldn't be worth it for her. im not good looking, i dont come from a smart school like SJI, im not rich, definately not the coolest or whatever most girls would want i guess. but i know i will love her with all my heart.
guess what my ball-less friend was true, but i know myself more than anyone. and that is i don't go for a relationship unless i know that im serious about it. cos i want us to last long, and not like some fucking couples in my school that only lasted three fucking days. that gotta suck shit cum man. i dont know why i am saying all this, but i guess it's because i certaintly feel things are so unfair to me. trust me, im not writing this because i hate you, but i write this to say how i feel.
why say sorry, i mean its so pointless as if i can just say its ok. i don't know but its not something i can forgive you just right away. maybe not forgive but understand, yea understand is the right word. to understand how you felt. i mean like imagine someone you're crazy in love with says this : " im not committed.... my feelings faded ... sorry" so? i don't know how to put it, but i hope you know what i mean. its like punching a person in the face, say sorry and just walk totally away from it.
what about the messages from you saying you'll always be mine, well i guess that was just like ummm i don't know. all i know is i certaintly wasn't playing with your feelings at all. you're the first girlfriend that i ever had, and i love you like no one i ever did, no crush i ever had, no friends i ever made. so much for saying you don't want me to think it was a break up and i can trust you that you will wait for me. hahaha
bitching this by benjiwenji at 11:26 PM [comment]
***
why does it hurt so much to leave someone you loved so much. Even though people might say she's not worth it for me. But i don't care, because i see it differently. i love her for everything she is, who she wants to be and who she is now. and i dont care about her faults because thats her. I LOVE HER FOR HER! and im bloody serious. what must there be breakups and why does it always look oh so perfect during the first few months. i miss the sweet messages that came from her, and how she would dedicate her time for me. Like how she went to malaysia and got a line just to message me. i miss it so much. the times she said she applied the line and messaged me the whole time and only 2 messages to her best friends, that made me feel so special. why can't it be the same again? i remembered once we had sort of a quarrel, and we stopped talking on the phone, i miss that too, and i thought we would be the same again because on a nice good friday, i bought her flowers and stuff and she was happy. but the very next day. everything all went downhill. i guess it already started to fade. but why wouldnt it fade? when we hardly talk, spend time together... and hardly sms like we used to. 1000 messages a month have now been only 300 and its so i dont know how to say, but when u feel like shit when u dont get a reply...
what have i done? although her feelings fade, mine haven't. each day i lay in bed waiting for replies, waiting for phone calls that never came. i start debating whether should i do the picking up or the one dialing. But i guess i was used to her calling, and i wouldnt want to bother her esp. when school started for her, and she has got a lot of work. i mean, i rather her to have an early night than talking to me and stone the whole of next day's lessons. i guess its not good to be selfish but also it doesn't feel good to feel neglected.
i miss the times only the two of us at shopping malls, when we are watching a movie, the time she shows me affection, the time we would sit on the sofa and just do nothing. the promises we have made to each other. the messages she sent that makes me feel as if im the luckiest man in the world.
Can't everything be the same again ?
bitching this by benjiwenji at 9:56 PM [comment]
***
Artist: John Mayer
Song: Comfortablep>
